@dreamsinchocola: When I undress there is a radiant shower that falls. Not of money or glitter, but of dog hair.
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@ch000ch: CHIPOTLE MANAGER: we can't figure out why these e.coli outbreaks keep happening ME: [bathing in a tub of salsa in the back] ya very weird
@SardonicTart: I'm glad my office has this giant shredder because otherwise I don't know what I'd do with all this work.
@fuzzlime: I pronounce CHampagne & CHandelier like CHimp so the lower class thinks I'm "approachable" & the upper class thinks I'm "eclectic"