@MavenofHonor: When I use my grandmother's cast iron skillet I feel close to her. Even though she's way, way up there repairing the space station
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@qwertygirl: People who hit Reply All to 20+ recipients and then say, "Thanks!"--please know, you are going to Hell. Nothing can save you. Nothing.
@TheDeadfishSays: "Everything the light touches is ours," I tell my son while opening the fridge.
@clindsaysway: The rare times my cat comes to me for affection, I run and hide under the bed, so she knows what that feels like.
@__candypants: If you break up and get back together more than twice, I will not listen or care about your relationship problems you idiot.