@MavenofHonor: When I use my grandmother's cast iron skillet I feel close to her. Even though she's way, way up there repairing the space station
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@AngelaEhh: This liquid diet crap is a scam. I've been drinking beer since last Tuesday and I'm still fat.
@THEINBREDCAT: Her: Do you have any kids? Me: I have 2 step kids Her: None of your own? Me: no Her: How come? Me: facials Her: I'm sorry what? Me: What?
@FknVancouver: My dog is so excited about me washing the car that I'm starting to think he borrows it while I'm asleep