@PaperWash: Noah build an ark "what? why" I'm gunna flood the earth "just give me fish powers" [jealous he didn't think of that] JUST DO WHAT I SAY!

@_mindflakes: We can put a man on the moon, but can we put a lobster in a postbox? Top scientists say: "stop calling here"

@Home_Halfway: Whenever anyone asks me where I grew up I point to a random spot in the room and say "Over there."

@panmidwest: How selfish am I? Circus peanuts and black licorice are my favorite candies just so I never have to share.

@robdelaney: I #respectfully #trot when you let me cross the street in front of you. I salute the #power of the automobile.