@Cpin42: When I was 6 my cousin stole my boomerang. The next day his parents died in a car crash. Andy, if you’re reading this, I want my boomerang.
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@kirkfox: I do not encourage eating cats. But judging by the amount of time they spend licking themselves, I bet they are probably pretty damn tasty.
@jctwritesstuff: [First Date] Me: So, Construction? Him: Yeah M: You nail stuff? With your big hammer? H: M: Like to screw? H: M: Hey! Where are you going?
@Contwixt: That awkward moment when you realize your wife's funeral is turning into a sausage-fest.
@lifecoachfit: I'm not gonna let something like a restraining order get in the way of a love as special and unique as ours. Shhhhh. Stop crying.