@Cpin42: When I was 6 my cousin stole my boomerang. The next day his parents died in a car crash. Andy, if you’re reading this, I want my boomerang.
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@lm_GrumpyCat: I'm not saying I hate you, I'm just saying that if you got hit by a bus, I would be driving that bus.
@bridger_w: When a cop asks if you know why they pulled you over, smile, take their hand in yours and say, "Sounds like somebody needed a friend"
@Vodkantots: I really hope my family doesn't give me a urinal cake again for my birthday this year.
@dreamthievin: I like to imagine Supreme Court is just like regular court but with tomatoes and sour cream.