@Cpin42: When I was 8, my best friend & I had a big fight. The next week his family moved away. Dave, if you're reading this, I still hate your guts.
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@ElizaBayne: Find out if the NSA is listening to your call by singing SWEET CAROLINE and if more than one voice responds with bum bum bum THEN YOU KNOW
@Book_Krazy: My boss says I intimidate the other employees, so I just stared at him until he apologized
@erikbransteen: Future Headline: “Trump Caught On Tape Eating Newborn Babies, Hillary Caught Using Friend's Netflix Password Undecideds Still On The Fence”