@allisonjp: When I was a kid 'friends with benefits' meant that kid had a nintendo.
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@hinnaz: Brazone : when a woman wants you to always support her, but gets rid of you the moment she is home and comfortable.
@treywafer: Dear white people: you stop Adam Sandler from making movies and we'll stop Eddie Murphy.
@OhHellsYes: I need a car. Hiding in people's trunks and hoping they're going to Wal-Mart isn't working out for me.
@KeetPotato: [5 mins after seeing our neighbour's new boat] wife: "everything's a competition to you" me: [trying to find the moon on eBay] "no it's not"