@LizHackett: When I was a teen, my parents talked to me about safe sex. I'm having the same talk with them about the Reply All button.
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@dollfaceiam: When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would the hulk do?" Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!
@VodkaThursday: First year my husband didn't give me some sort of sweet on our anniversary. I got roses. He thinks I'm fat. I know it.
@pizzajaynow: When a Jehovah Witness dies, Heaven turns off all the lights and pretends no one is home.