@rad_milk: when i was born i was no bigger than a hotdog, and no better. now i am the size of many hotdogs, and just as good
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@ceejoyner: Babies have little hands and odd sleep schedules which is why my gym for buff infants has miniature equipment and stays open 24hrs.
@JimmerThatisAll: I would organize my thoughts but I'm afraid they would form a union and demand benefits.
@ShutUpThatsWho: Freddie Mercury: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me Chorus of Dads: HI JUST A POOR BOY, I'M DAD! SPARE HIM HIS LIFE FROM THIS MONSTROSITY
@jazmasta: [loudly so dad who's been depressed since mom left can hear] Oh no, my GPS broke! If only I had some good DRIVING DIRECTIONS *dad looks up*