@rad_milk: when i was born i was no bigger than a hotdog, and no better. now i am the size of many hotdogs, and just as good
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@bytaylorcox: A "lady" and a "woman" are exactly the same thing unless they are prefaced with cat.
@Brianhopecomedy: I checked my phone while I was mowing the lawn and now we don't have a garden.
@TheBoydP: It's hard for me to believe that the new Star Wars trailer has already been seen millions of times. How do they even know where it's parked?