@5oulhealer: When I was little I asked God for a bike. He didn't deliver so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness instead.
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@thestlouisan: [Health fair] "Would you like a free diabetes cookbook?" Me [leaning in close]: Why would I ever want to cook diabetes?
@kendragaylord: How many lost cats walk by the telephone pole with their missing flier on it? Just another reason to teach your cat to read.
@LizHackett: I hate cooking, but I am excited to debut my cookbook "Toast On A Paper Towel, 365 Ways."