@AGreaterMonster: When I was ten I played Secret Agent with my little brother. Turns out toddlers do not make good grappling hooks.
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@david8hughes: "Write this down." [Moses grabs tablet] "Thou shalt have no other Gods bef-" "Slow down, fella. It's gonna take me an hour to carve 'Thou'."
@david8hughes: [first day as furniture salesman] Guy [inspecting bed]: nice, solid frame. Who makes it? Me: you or your wife. Whoever gets up last really