@AGreaterMonster: When I was ten I played Secret Agent with my little brother. Turns out toddlers do not make good grappling hooks.
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@Purpell_Nurpell: People are always telling me I look like Hagrid from Harry Potter. I've never seen the movies, but she must be a beautiful gal.
@RobinMcCauley: A woman started choking in the line at Starbucks- it was so scary but thankfully someone opened another register.
@hippieswordfish: '911 HELP SOMEONE BROKE INTO MY HOUSE' uh ok, wow. not loving your tone. why don't you hang up, lose the 'tude and lets try that again, pal
@DaddyJew: I'm at my creepiest when I see a drunk chick crying outside of a bar and just think 'bingo