@osigat: When I was young, I wanted to date a doctor for money. How superficial was that? Now it would be for the prescriptions.
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@chrissyteigen: I am so lazy I thought about looking at the super moon and decided 2033 isn't even that far away
@InternetHippo: Me (bumping into someone): Oh no, I’m sorry. Sorry. So very sorry Talent scout for brand’s social media job: Young man, what’s your name
@Book_Krazy: [Arrives at work dressed as a sexy kitty] Boss: *points to memo on desk* "It says no Halloween costumes" Me: *slowly pushes memo off desk*