@osigat: When I was young, I wanted to date a doctor for money. How superficial was that? Now it would be for the prescriptions.
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@bkdcasey: I told an ex of mine that i wished she was more punctual. So, from then on, she added !!!!!!! to every text. I have picked some winners.
@jordan_stratton: [boss finds pics of me snowboarding] "You missed work bc you said you were sick...& judging from these pics, YOU WERENT LYING" *fist bump*
@sammyrhodes: Ibuprofen is my favorite headache medicine that also sounds like a reggae professor.