@TedBundybitch: When I was younger I wanted to rule the world. Now I just want to spell words close enough that autocorrect can figure out what I'm saying
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@daemonic3: [grocery store] Ok, milk... Check! Eggs... Check! Tomatoes... Check! "Sir, can you wait for the total and just write one check please?"
@CanadianCyn: I've found a diner. Or maybe it's a house. Either way this little old lady is cooking me breakfast.
@Okeating: I didn't take my husband's name when I got married. I figured it'd be confusing if we were both called Keith.