@TedBundybitch: When I was younger I wanted to rule the world. Now I just want to spell words close enough that autocorrect can figure out what I'm saying
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@eddiesteadyno: The plan was to keep eating these alcoholic chocolates until I was either drunk or diabetic. I didn't bargain on "bankrupt" being an option.
@TechnicallyRon: Can we stop calling it 'Breaking news' and start calling it 'bloody hell what now'
@emilyarse: students: i broke 18 ribs can i be excused from this absence professor: tough shit same professor: well kids unfortunately i stepped in a puddle with socks on so class will be cancelled indefinitely