@Xoolun: When I was younger my dad showed me pictures of why to wear condoms during sex. The funny thing is, they were all pictures of me.
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@slackerjorge: Based on the number of AVI pics taken in your cars, I'm guessing that quite a few of you girls are on the run
@colsonwhitehead: Saw lady reading my book & was gonna say hi but I'm wearing the same shirt as in author photo & didn't want her to think I only had 1 shirt.
@FlashyPenguin: [on death row] "what would you like for your last meal?" "A McRib" "McRib doesnt come back for 6 more mont...oooh well played!"
@TheTobbie: My mind: "Today was a productive day." My body: "Please don't drink 11 cups of coffee again."...