@BackrowSeats: When I watch The Walking Dead I can't help but think those zombies are in way better shape than me.
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@MarlonBrandNO: Wife: Have you seen my stilettos? Me [6 inches taller and struggling to stand]: Uh *stumble* No
@madamezooble: Hey! Welcome to Urban Outfitters. Are you a baby-sized woman or a woman-sized man?
@aveuaskew: For a cat named Jingles, his tambourine accompaniment to my blistering bongo solo isn't that impressive.