@mrsmith196645: When I win the lottery I'm getting a pool boy, maybe I'll even get a pool.
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@ThaJawn: Interviewer: What's your greatest strength? Me: I'm hyper observant Interviewer: You have mustard in your beard Me: Oh..
@GrowlyGrego: "I...I don't know, doc. I guess I'm just tired of being pushed around all the time." -Revolving Doors
@Los01001111: *goes to Australia *sees hot girl *asks if she wants to be my first mate *winks forever *gets punched down under
@RandomAntics: He who fights with lobsters must take care not to become a lobster. For when you gaze long into the bisque, the bisque also gazes into you.