@Cool_Jesse: When I wrote "Spiritual" on my online-dating profile, I meant I like to watch 'Ghostbusters'.
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@DirtMcTurd: "We have a new product, it washes hair but it needs a name" Shamcrap?! "Awful" Shampoop?! "Get out!" Shampoo? "Genius!"
@bazecraze: It's only been a few days, but I'm starting to forget everything I knew about Mitch Romley.
@DancesWithTamis: The only good thing about grinding your teeth at night is that every morning you can wake up and do a line of teeth off your pillow
@_TheGreatGrizz_: That moment you are trying to figure out if you are Joey, Ross, or Chandler and you realize you're Gunther.