@ShoutingGoddess: When idiots talk to me, I just imagine they're saying, 'I'm an idiot,' over and over. Makes it easier to nod in agreement and not get cross.
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@yerpalmildsauce: WARDEN: You have been sentenced to the Electric Cher ME: in the what now *a metallic voice sings out: ＤＯ ＹＯＵ ＢＥＬＩＥＶＥ ＩＮ ＬＩＦＥ ＡＦＴＥＲ ＬＯＶＥ*
@SgtButtCheeks: My 4yo son just asked what squirrels eat. I answered nuts. We laughed so hard, hugged, and gave each other a high 5. My boy.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Sorry, cancer kids. Our prayers are going elsewhere. RT @KimKardashian: So scared I'm not gonna make my flight to Australia! Pray I make it!