@ShoutingGoddess: When idiots talk to me, I just imagine they're saying, 'I'm an idiot,' over and over. Makes it easier to nod in agreement and not get cross.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@funnybeachgirl: I remember 9 months before I was born, I went to a party with dad and left with mom.
@pixelatedboat: To be honest you were our third choice for this poisoner job but the other two got poiso... oh that was you, nice
@tdug: My greatest fear is having a star athlete injure himself and having the coach look into the crowd and point at me to take his place
@solommb: My car has the innate super power of knowing when I have any extra money and spontaneously breaking down.