@KKAlThani: When I'm at a friend's house & there are snacks, all I'm thinking is "How do I eat everything without looking like a homeless person?"
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@daemonic3: Doctor told me I only have 6 months to live, maybe 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook.
@cheeky__gal: I think my cats hate people as much as I do. Every time the doorbell rings, they hide under the bed with me.
@scorpicpanda: I'm gonna covet you. I am gonna covet you so hard. I am gonna covet the holy living shit outta you. C'mere.