@Sean_Burgundy_: When I'm bored I like to call in sick to places I don't work for. I'm getting written up at Home Depot
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@hippieswordfish: 'sir, no food allowed in the dressing rooms.' what, am i supposed to just guess the pop tart capacity of these cargo shorts before I buy?
@HatfieldAnne: Mom taught us that “shut up” was the worst thing you could ever say to someone. But I had bigger dreams.
@WheelTod: I always carry a pocket knife, because I never know when I'll need to slice open a pocket.