@evidentlyblonde: When I'm bored nobody texts me but as soon as I get busy as hell... BAM... still nobody texts me.
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@SummerCandyEyes: The neighbor's cat brought me a dead lizard while I was outside having a snack on the patio, so it's now some weird interspecies potluck.
@VolatileVani: My favorite romcom is Silence of the Lambs and if you tell me it's not a romcom well oh boy have I got a Powerpoint presentation for you.
@pattonoswalt: Hey Ben Carson, at this point in your craziness? Just say you're Iron Man. What could it hurt?
@SortaBad: You say tomato. I say tomato. Our eyes meet. We've decided on the perfect name for our baby