@kelkulus: When I'm bored on a plane, I pull a random machine part out of my pocket and ask the person next to me "Do you know where this came from?"
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@awkwardphilippe: Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? There was nothing left but de brie
@iGreenMonk: "Oh, hey! I didn't even recognize you!" means "I saw you and tried to avoid you, but here you are."
@MarlonBrandNO: Wife: Have you seen my stilettos? Me [6 inches taller and struggling to stand]: Uh *stumble* No