@AnnDabromowitz: When I'm CEO of Subway, employees will no longer be called "sandwich artists." They will be "sub humans."
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@TheDreamGhoul: some dogs can find bodies that have been buried for years & mine can't even find a cracker that hit him in the face on the way to the floor
@TheToddWilliams: Daddy, where do bananas come from? Well son, when a manana and a womanana really love each other...
@KateWhineHall: *runs in place* *cracks knuckles* *stretches neck* *takes a deep breath* *heads toward buffet*
@PencilWalrus: [Job interview] "What would you say is your greatest strength?" "Sticking my fingers in people's mouths." "Arhghv-um-hirv-ok-hrbsj-hired"