@ilovepie84: "When I'm done shitting on your car I'm going to watch your wife undress through her window"-Birds
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KimmyMonte: *comes into work with black eye* oh please I'm fine guys! But you shoulda seen the other guy. He was a cabinet door that i walked into
@JennyPentland: I wonder if caterpillars know they're gonna fly some day or they just start building a cocoon and are like 'why am I doing this'.
@CynicalCanuck: Am I in the Mile High Club if I jerk off under a blanket on a plane? Just kidding, United doesn't have blankets. Sorry lady in seat 21B
@billmaher: New evidence shows #marijuana not only helps with cancer side effects but may fight cancer itself! Oh pot, is there anything u can't do?