@RandomAntics: When I'm empty-handed my dog doesn't know what the word 'sit' means, but if I have a treat she can perform neurosurgery.
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@_gothique: What I've learned from Twitter: 1. Men are pervs 2. Women are pervs 3. Cats are pervs
@MiddleageM: Having a tea party is fun until your daughter tells you that she got the water from the toilet
@CarolinaSong: I'm at the bar & I'm trying to convince this girl with a leopard print shirt to go & bite this girl with a zebra print shirt.