@BlACk__ThRoaT: When I'm home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know.
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@jasonroeder: The cashier seemed to appreciate that I bagged my own groceries until I unpacked them all and said, "That's how I want you to do it."
@aLunchBox: Ignorant person: "You're Canadian. You live in igloos, right?" Me: "You're American. You live in McDonalds', Right?
@kellysdf: Life was dangerous when I was young. We answered the phone never knowing who was on the other end.
@lawblob: if you love something set it free. except Shamu.. we all love Shamu but he must be imprisoned forever