@TheRolo: When I'm in a bathroom stall, please don't yell "Oh my God oh my God there's a guy in here!" Respect my privacy.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jonnysun: BERNIE: all people deserve to be treated equally HILLARY: the oposite of "bernie sanders" is "soakey waterers" BERNIE: … HILLARY: pls fav/rt
@sarcasm_inc: [interview after losing a fight] "What happened out there?" I dont kn-OMG WHAT IS THAT *interviewer doesnt look* Ugh didnt work on u either
@rickolantern: *stands on scanner at self checkout, weighing self after keying in mango code, just to see what net worth is in mangoes
@MartaEffing: *hears suspicious noise in backyard, is too lazy to get up & investigate* *smells cookies baking at neighbors house, immediately goes over*