@sara_ashlynn: When I'm mad at my kid, I don't put the straw from the juice box in their school lunch.
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@autocorrects: Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together, Hermoine went alone and got attacked by a troll.
@NikiWithIssues: I hit a parked car today so naturally I left a note. It said "Die, Decepticons! Die!"
@FattMernandez: I hate horror movies where everything goes back to normal at the end. You just had a demon inside you, but yeah, let's go for pancakes.