@mommy_cusses: When I'm old, I'm gonna giggle uncontrollably, squirm, and go all sack of potatoes on my son when he tries to get me in the car as payback.
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@michaeldean0116: A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his bum. Doctors described his condition as "stable". #manicmonday
@TitansHomer: Him: Can you believe what's going on in Egypt? Me: Yeah...it's crazy...I gotta go. Bye. Me: *googles what's happening in Egypt?*
@WhirledRecord: USA: "Hey, Canada, can you hold this for a second?" Canada: "OK." *USA hands Detroit to Canada* *USA quickly walks away.*