@Sarcasmo718: When I'm sad I drive over to Keanu Reeve's house and watch him check the mailbox for scripts.
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@daemonic3: We're having sweet potato fries with dinner "Haha sweet potatoes?" DON'T "Don't what?" You're gonna make a dumb potato pun "I YAM NOT!"
@BeardSpice: BOSS: I don't know if you're the right man for the job BAKER: NO PLEASE *holds up dough* I KNEAD THIS
@MrsRupertPupkin: My cat tried to knock over my TV this morning. WHY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS FIGHTING?!