@Sarcasmo718: When I'm sad I drive over to Keanu Reeve's house and watch him check the mailbox for scripts.
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@JohnFugelsang: Welcome to America, where the politicians we dislike 'flip-flop on issues' but the politicians we like 'evolve.'
@Proxic0n: [Date] Me: So what goes in the bowl first, milk or cereal? Her: Trick question, I eat pizza for breakfast. *We just start making out*