@TheDizzyBeauty: When I'm texting, I start typing faster when i see you're typing too. Oh, IT'S ON!! #amazingrace
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@murrman5: *nervously plays with tie* "I'm sorry. I'm no good during job interviews." That's ok, just let go of my tie and go on your side of the desk.
@QwertyJones3: Dentist: Ok, I'm going to start drilling. "Wait! What if I have to poop?" D: Then you should go now. *awkward pause* "Thanks I feel better."
@lil_mermaid: i feel disrespected by the shift in candy size naming from "king size" to "sharing size". i don't share candy. im the king