@MartaEffing: When I'm with you, I'm breathless. My pulse quickens and I can feel my entire body getting hot. Also, you're a treadmill and I'm asthmatic.
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@Marcmywords2: Ok 1st off, who exactly is "we" in "we have to go on a diet", and more importantly, why is there salad on the plate where my food should be.
@stacywawa1: I just saw a guy put deodorant on before walking into an adult bookstore. I kinda want to date him now.
@Just_some_girl2: Seeing twin toddler red haired girls on leashes in Target was my birth control reminder for the day.
@OtherDanOBrien: Friend (seeing my bookcases): Wow, have you read all of these books? Me: Have you? Friend: No. Me: Then yes. Yes I have.