@MartaEffing: When I'm with you, I'm breathless. My pulse quickens and I can feel my entire body getting hot. Also, you're a treadmill and I'm asthmatic.
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@CommonSavant: Huffington Post says all that passive aggressive behavior can harm your marriage. In other obvious news, water is wet and the sun is hot.
@JohnHilsen: The real reason Batman only comes out at night is because he'd get disastrous tanlines wearing that mask during the day.
@tastefactory: Most kids have a stuffed animal or blankie. My niece has one of those plastic owls u put outside to scare away birds