@MartaEffing: When I'm with you, I'm breathless. My pulse quickens and I can feel my entire body getting hot. Also, you're a treadmill and I'm asthmatic.
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@MariyaAlexander: What kind of outfit says "I want you to let me stand in your group so I don't look like a loser but I don't want to talk to any of you"?
@Robski_Boy: Sorry Siri, talking to machines is not for me. I still get tongue-tied at the drive-through.
@BuckyIsotope: All the toys under the tree Have now gone completely missing You’ve been hit by You’ve been struck by Reverse Santa Claus
@Ivsy01: Her: I like how you did your hair today. Me: OMG thank you, I passed out in my closet last night.