@thepatrickwalsh: When improv teams ask for suggestions, I like to yell "Learn a trade before your father cuts you off financially!"
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@ShrinkMedia: My son just got his brown belt in Tae Kwon Do. If you threaten him, he bows respectfully before he runs.
@DanMentos: *chad kroeger walks through metal detector at airport* TSA agent: I've never seen this low of a reading
@pakalupapito: isnt it odd how people kill flys just because they’re annoying if people killed people for being annoying i would’ve died like 15 years ago