@thepatrickwalsh: When improv teams ask for suggestions, I like to yell "Learn a trade before your father cuts you off financially!"
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@donofalltrades1: If you named your kid Hunter because you like to hunt, then I hate you. Who names a kid after an activity?. *Storms off w/ his son, Kegger
@AnOrangeSNES: "I just called to say I love you." -Stevie Wonder not understanding how prank calls work
@LurkAtHomeMom: Me: *drops toddler off at gym daycare* DC: Which room will you be working out in? Me: None of them, I just need to take a shower.