@thepatrickwalsh: When improv teams ask for suggestions, I like to yell "Learn a trade before your father cuts you off financially!"
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@Dawn_M_: My online boyfriend loves me so much that once I put my money in his PayPal account he is coming to visit me.
@Tharin_P: The irony of my developing severely crippling stomach cramps minutes after reading a cheesy old love story isn't lost on me. *faints*
@Izzybcrazy: 2 out of 3 isn't bad. Unless you come home from the park with 2 out 3 kids. Then it's bad
@CuddleYourCat: If you piss me off bad enough and tell me to leave you alone, I will take 30 Adderall and send you cat pictures every 3 minutes for 6 days.