@jwoodham: When in doubt, ask yourself WWBD: What Would Beyoncé Do? Would she apply for a job? Nope. She'd just show up one day like "I work here now."
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@DanTaylorAuthor: Me: *gets in from fishing trip* Girlfriend: did you catch anything? Me: *sighs* just an old boot Girlfriend: okay, what's she called?
@DonQuickoats: I don't even know how my dog can even think how I might fall for the notion someone else tore apart my shoe
@bdbdleeroybrown: Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.
@ChaseMit: Hey, people who act like they're about to fight but are really friends, you are FREAKING the rest of us out.