@funnyordie: When it comes to Pope vs. Trump, do you take the side of the guy who wears that ridiculous thing on his head or the Pope?
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@DeadLioness: Running with my dog, holding his poop in a small, lavender scented, biodegradable bag like the top-of-the-food-chain creature that I am.
@ch000ch: therapist: im glad u overcame ur fear of snakes and all but- me, with a snake: ur gonna say i shouldn't have married this snake aren't u
@LizHackett: If a bear confronts you in the woods, make it go away by handing it a flyer for your boyfriend's band's show.