@funnyordie: When it comes to Pope vs. Trump, do you take the side of the guy who wears that ridiculous thing on his head or the Pope?
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@GrantTanaka: Helped my son flush his betta fish today. He asked "Dad, does God love bettas?" & I said "Dunno, son, ask him after we flush you."
@fillthevacuum: Doggy day care is like a regular day care except you have to enter from the rear.
@TattleTSister: I can never understand why people act surprised when horrible things happen. Where have you been since birth?