@topaz_kell: When it comes to stalking, I'm right behind you.
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@Jake_Vig: ME: I can understand why, it's so silky and luxurious. THEM: Huh? I said I worship Satan. ME: Oh. I thought you said "satin."
@hyperblastchic: My mom accidentally killed my boyfriend this weekend. She didn't recognize him when she was canning pickles.
@sarcasm_inc: A group of chimpanzees walking out of a Banana Republic is called "disappointed" Except for Charlie there, who scored a nice sundress.
@Kyle_Lippert: Her: What are your desires? Me: My desires are..[imagines having a talking Pug named Maurice that I watch Netflix with]...Unconventional.