@topaz_kell: When it comes to stalking, I'm right behind you.
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@knot_eye: Her: I bet you forgot it. Him: I have a photographic memory. [shakes violently] Her: ? Him: Sorry, it's a Polaroid. Is it Becky? Her: NO
@dshack8: My dog reacts to the vacuum cleaner the same way I react when my wife says "We need to talk".
@ericsshadow: [6:00pm] i will not snack tonight i will not snack tonight i will not snack tonight [11:00pm] yay i did it! [11:01pm] *preheats oven*