@huntigula: when Jason swung that sleeping bag with a girl in it against a tree in Friday the 13th, I bet for a brief moment the girl was like "wheeee!"
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@PresidentGrimes: I promise to find a new girlfriend right away when my old girlfriend gets eaten by walkers. America needs a first lady.
@SaddestFinger: how to fall down a long set of stairs: step 1) step 1 step 2) step 3 step 3) step 7 step 4) step 10 step 5) step 15 step 6) step 26
@wheatnik: My bucket list is just the words "afford things" written in orange crayon on a paper towel.