@TheToxicWaster: When Jesus went to heaven technically he was moving back in with his parents..
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@ColoChiver: My boss told me to dress for the job I want, not the job I have. Now I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting in a Batman costume.
@SCbchbum: Teens don't know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.
@InternetHippo: What should we call this giant advertising board? PHIL: A philboard BILL: I have a better idea
@iscoff: The reason Latin is a dead language is because they kept accidentally summoning demons during regular conversations