@TheToxicWaster: When Jesus went to heaven technically he was moving back in with his parents..
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@Jeffwni: 13yo Jesus: You're not my real dad! I HATE YOU! Joseph: One of these days boy, I'll— [distant thunder] I'll do nothing. Absolutely nothing.
@XplodingUnicorn: I was working in the yard. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a snake. I hit it with a shovel. I'm happy to report the garden hose is dead
@LoveYoorFate: It's like my Uncle said, no body, no crime Coworker: I only asked how your weekend was...
@philmann: PRIEST: In the beginning there was the word ME: capsicum P: no M: tumescent gerund caliphate P: stop trying to guess the word M: maelstrom