@TheToxicWaster: When Jesus went to heaven technically he was moving back in with his parents..
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@RuinMyWeek: [God & his assistant making giraffes] ASST: Say "when" once the neck is long enough, k? *God is on his iPhone not really paying attention*
@seamussaid: Son: can I go? Dad: storm coming, tornado warnings Son: yeah I know Dad: wait for your brother to get home, he can continue the bloodline
@I_Mee_Myself_: My girlfriend just walked in and called me gay... If my nails weren't drying I swear to god...