@thetobbie: When jogging, if i get tired, I insult the people i pass in my head & then imagine having to get away as they chase me...
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@mean_spice: Teacher: welcome to health class Me: my friend said you can get a girl pregnant by kissing her? Teacher: sir please just mop the floor
@Mr_Kapowski: "Dad can I sit on your shoulders to watch the parade?" Dad: Dammit Zack, you're 32 and you're taller than me Me: But I'm tired of standing