@SortaBadass: When Kate Middleton goes into labor, the doctor will say "the baby is crowning!" and they'll laugh and laugh
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@bvinson23: I ate cereal for dinner because I do what I want. I'm an adult. Oh did I say adult? I meant poor. It's because I'm poor.
@tigersgoroooar: Boy becomes Jedi, gets married, turns evil, has twins, becomes Darth Vader, complicated crap, ewoks. Boom, STAR WARS. You're welcome, girls.
@matt___nelson: Shoe store employee on phone w/ wife: "Yea honey I should be home just in time for dinner" *centipede walks in* "You've got to be kiddin me"