@thedailymarker: When life gives me lemons, I make lemon meringue pie..because lemonade is for amateurs...& because I'm gay..& we always take it up a notch.
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@LorieGZ: Me: Did you know avocado improves Brain function?' Kristen: 'Mom you eat it all the time and I haven't seen ANY improvement.'
@HuajatollaChic: At least dogs look at you when you're talking with them as if to say, hell yeah I'd talk to you, but I'm a dog.
@amarie_price: "who can I count on to volunteer for this project?" *slumps out of chair and slowly army crawls out of conference room*
@GrillinChillin9: The brake is on the left, the gas peddle is on the right, & the liquor store is 4 miles ahead. -Me teaching my 3yr old niece how to drive