@thedailymarker: When life gives me lemons, I make lemon meringue pie..because lemonade is for amateurs...& because I'm gay..& we always take it up a notch.
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@KKAlThani: Kim and Kanye are now planning to have their wedding in Egypt. See Egyptians, things could always be worse.
@KatieBurnett: Blind dates are the best because they can't see me stealing all of the food from their plate
@GoddessTitty: Going to get a facial today... this guy on Craigslist is offering a way lower price than the salon!