@ObscureGent: When life gives you chlamydia, make lemon chlamydia?
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@SprtsHumor: Experts determine Super Bowl blackout was an electrical issue, also determine grass has a green issue.
@LoveMeNowDad: A microwave with three only buttons. 1. Hot Pocket 2. Pizza Rolls 3. 4 Hot Pockets and 60 Pizza Rolls
@slaughthie: Been getting better gas mileage since I decided to turn off my car when I'm crying alone in parking lots.
@MUMSIEesq: Pro Tip: Do not let your kids push that red button in the elevator. The fire department will NOT think its adorable.