@ObscureGent: When life gives you chlamydia, make lemon chlamydia?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Poutymcgee: The cat licks itself and it's cute. I do it and I'm "no longer allowed in the library".
@The_JRM: Captain America: WHERE ARE YOU WE NEED YOU Black WINDOW: FOR THE LAST TIME YOU GOT THE WRONG NUMBER
@WigCannon: Do you know why I pulled you over? "Yes, because I was driving a motorized toilet." I meant this time "Oh. No." Please step out of the oven.
@SteveSuckington: [first date] Her: omg are you wearing a cape? Lol Me: [texting mom] ok you were right about the cape