@ObscureGent: When life gives you chlamydia, make lemon chlamydia?
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@TheCatWhisprer: *intermittently glances at phone while placing order for 6 burritos so the Chipotle lady thinks they're for multiple people*
@Tommytoughstuff: *gets pulled over by police* *shows a little skin* Officer: "Who's skin is that? Please step out of the vehicle sir."
@panmidwest: MOM: turn the volume down on your headphones or you'll go deaf! ME: that is sound advice