@SuperJuanderer: When life gives you lemons, you should peel one in front of the other lemons. You know... to send a message.
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@ericsshadow: If Donald Trump becomes President, The rest of us should be able to just walk into any hospital & start working as doctors
@geowizzacist: (after bedtime) 3:DADDY COME INTO MY ROOM! Me: go to sleep. 3:YOU HAVE TO COME IN BECAUSE I CAN'T HEAR YOU M: yes you can 3:NO I CAN'T
@humanwarnings: The next time I hang out with people who start making out in front of me, I'm going to start flossing my teeth in front of them.