@themorris23: When life handed Chuck Norris lemons, he made chocolate pudding.
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@lloydrang: The New York Post publishes rumours about Dwayne Johnson. He sues for defamation and wins. Rock beats paper. And the crowd goes wild.
@Adam14: Parenting tip: if you beat one child with the other child you can tell people they were just fighting. You're welcome.
@Jake_Vig: "You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave." "But after that I'm not responsible for any more room charges, correct?"
@Turbo_Jimmy: *Wife thumps door* "I KNOW UR IN THERE! U BLEW OUR SAVINGS ON A SHITTY INVENTION, DIDN'T U?!" NO! *furiously flushes 1000s of dog-tampons*