@BabetteJones: When life hands you alligators, make gator aid.
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@ArfMeasures: [Starbucks] ME: [bursts in] THERE'S A GUNMAN AT LARGE BARISTA: [shrugs] ME: [sigh] THERE'S A GUNMAN AT VENTI B: *grande screaming noises*
@KarlreMarks: When I travel I just throw my clothes in a suitcase because I know as an Arab they will search me at the airport and fold my clothes neatly.
@iGreenMonk: I always put a crouton on my ice cream sundaes instead of a cherry. That way, it counts as a salad!
@Douchekevin: A cash bar on parent / teacher interview nights would be a great fundraiser for schools.