@stockejock: When life hands you gators, make Gatorade...just kidding-that means life hates you because the gators would totally kill and eat you 1st.
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@secondofhername: Friend: I'm about to appear in court. Me: Best of luck! Kill it!! Friend:...not exactly the best phrase to use in a medical negligence case.
@VanGobot: Judge: Guilty! *bangs gavel* NINE MONTHS LATER *gavel holding freaky gavel-human hybrid baby* Judge: *tears welling up* ..he has your eyes
@Xoolun: Health care in this country is a disgrace. My doctor said run 3 miles a day for a month. I'm now completely lost & 90 miles away from home.