@edgarrants: When life hands you lemons, help me throw them at the kids on my lawn.
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@PashSara: 5: Mommy, we can eat something if we not allergic? Me: yep 5:right now? Me:sure 5:BROTHER! Mom said we can have ice cream! Me: sonofa...
@PaperWash: doctor looking at his iPad: oh no, this isn't good ... Me: give it to me straight doc what is it doctor: well, I forgot my wifi password
@GrillinChillin9: The brake is on the left, the gas peddle is on the right, & the liquor store is 4 miles ahead. -Me teaching my 3yr old niece how to drive
@ObscureGent: What kind of educational background do you need to have to work at the gas station that directs teens to their deaths in a horror movie?