@Sickayduh: When life tosses me a football, I'm the ref who's not looking and everyone laughs when I get booped in the face
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@AristotlesNZ: If the fate of the world ever depended on me opening a new plastic grocery or produce bag in under a minute, we'd all be dead.
@TattleTSister: "I don't need more than 4 hours of sleep" I say proudly while spooning dish washer detergent into my coffee.
@jlock17: Remember when all bombs looked like a black bowling ball with a giant wick in the top? Yep, simpler times.