@KarenLyneButler: When mad at the hubby, I just tweet about it. I don't sleep with a waitress that looks just like him. I'm talking to you David Arquette.
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@caribdonna: My husband said I was passive aggressive so I punched him in the face and said well, you're half right.
@TheBoydP: The hardest part of being a dog is not understanding why squirrels don’t want to play with you.
@KatMcSnatch: My ex sent me a text saying "please delete my number..." I sent one back saying "who's this?"