@bourgeoisalien: When man made the first stone tool 2.6 million years ago, I don’t think they could have ever imagined a tool as great as Donald Trump.
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@Dutch_50: Ask someone how they're doing & they'll say fine. Share with them a random health issue & wait for the 20 min dissertation on their ailment.
@generaldietz: lifeguard: can you describe the thing that touched you? me: yea...it was like a wet wind chime made out of wieners lifeguard: a squid?
@BlindChow: DOG COP: sir, you ran a gray light DOG DRIVER: it was gray! COP: no, it was gray! DRIVER: gray! COP: *starts barking* DRIVER: *barking*