@Tadicles: When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music" , but when I do it I'm "wasted" and "have to leave the Hardware Store"
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@Dawn_M_: My online boyfriend loves me so much that once I put my money in his PayPal account he is coming to visit me.
@OutOfLeftField_: The Police asked me to make a statement so I stripped naked and ran around the precinct shouting, "Save the whales!"
@causticbob: My wife asked me today if I would ever cheat on her. I replied, "Who else would I cheat on?"
@shutupmikeginn: my favorite animals at the zoo are just the random birds walking around like they belong. Go home pigeon, this is fancy bird town